If I Tell Him Enough, He Will Remember.

So many caregivers feel that if they tell their loved one with dementia something enough times, that piece of information will stay with them. 

“Dad, remember to call me every day after dinner.”

“Aunt Nancy, you have to let the doctor see you tomorrow. Don’t get frustrated with the doctor and push him away.”

“Your socks are in the top drawer, mom! That’s where we always, always put them.”

Here’s the problem with this “repetition” line of logic: people with most forms of dementia do not have the ability to store or retrieve new information. 

When you tell your mom with Alzheimer’s, for example, that it is 2:00 in the afternoon, it seems like she understands. Even though she repeats it back to you, and thanks you for the information, the detail does not stay with her.

Her brain is missing a critical piece—she has lost the ability to store new information. Your words go in one ear…and then evaporate. They don’t get stored anywhere. A minute later, mom wonders what time it is. She searches her brain for the answer. The answer is nowhere to be found, so, she asks you again.

“What time is it?”

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Rachael Wonderlin is an internationally-recognized dementia care expert and consultant. She has a Master’s in Gerontology and is the author of three published books with Johns Hopkins University Press. Rachael owns Dementia By Day, a dementia care consulting and education company.

16 things poster
Get the FREE “16 Things” poster!
Embracing Their Reality: Short Film

Learn about our trademarked approach to dementia communication through our award-winning short film.

16 Things I Would Want If I Got Dementia

Get the FREE “16 Things” poster for your personal use—or better yet—your dementia care community’s staff break room!

A beloved classic. Since 2014, Rachael Wonderlin’s moving poem has offered comfort and insight into the world of those living with dementia.

When you sign up, you’ll also receive notifications when new Dementia By Day content is released, helpful resources, and special offers sent directly to your inbox. We’ll never sell your information, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

16 things poster

Special Offer: FREE Poster

Rachael wrote "16 Things I'd Want If I Got Dementia" in 2014 and it's circulated the globe many times over. Download your free copy here!