Hi, thanks for writing in! I wouldn’t recommend visiting less often, but instead trying more structured visits. For example, find out when they are doing a bus ride and plan to go along. You may find that when you’re both participating in activities, he’s enjoying himself and enjoying your company while thinking less about going home.
My husband has been in a quality memory care community for almost 6 months. I love the people and the quality of care that he's getting… and I suspect he does too. But when I show up (almost daily) he starts complaining and wanting to 'get out of this place'. Today I went in to reports of how much he enjoyed the van ride this morning… and he was showing his good mood when I visited. But then it turned, as it so often does and he became a crying mess. I wonder if I should not visit so often.
Rachael Wonderlin is an internationally-recognized dementia care expert and consultant. She has a Master’s in Gerontology and is the author of three published books with Johns Hopkins University Press. Rachael owns Dementia By Day, a dementia care consulting and education company.
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