Dementia Tip #4: Don’t ask for permission

Transcript:

Today’s topic is all about how dementia is more of a beg for forgiveness rather than ask for permission group of diseases.

This means that if you are looking to move your loved one with dementia into assisted living or maybe you’re looking to take them to the doctor. Maybe you’re just looking to get them up to go to the bathroom, and they’re like, no, they’re not having it. I’ve had a lot of people come to me and say, Hey, I really want to do this. I need to take my loved one with dementia to the doctor but they don’t want to come with me.

They don’t want to move to assisted living. Bad news. Dementia is very much a beg-for-forgiveness group of diseases. You cannot wait for somebody with dementia to tell you that it’s okay to move them because you’re never ever going to get their permission.

People with dementia do not give out permission. And here’s the other thing. If you don’t want to leave your loved one with dementia home alone because you’re afraid that they can’t take care of themselves, you’re afraid they’re going to wander out of the house or they’re going to leave the oven on, why would you let them make any other decisions for themselves? Really, they can’t make those kinds of decisions and unfortunately, it falls on you as the caregiver to be the person to make those choices for them. You have to be able to say, this is what we’re doing. I know you don’t like it. But we have to do it.

Visit my Youtube channel for more tips on Dementia Care.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Rachael Wonderlin is an internationally-recognized dementia care expert and consultant. She has a Master’s in Gerontology and is the author of three published books with Johns Hopkins University Press. Rachael owns Dementia By Day, a dementia care consulting and education company.

16 things poster
Get the FREE “16 Things” poster!
Embracing Their Reality: Short Film

Learn about our trademarked approach to dementia communication through our award-winning short film.

16 Things I Would Want If I Got Dementia

Get the FREE “16 Things” poster for your personal use—or better yet—your dementia care community’s staff break room!

A beloved classic. Since 2014, Rachael Wonderlin’s moving poem has offered comfort and insight into the world of those living with dementia.

When you sign up, you’ll also receive notifications when new Dementia By Day content is released, helpful resources, and special offers sent directly to your inbox. We’ll never sell your information, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

16 things poster

Special Offer: FREE Poster

Rachael wrote "16 Things I'd Want If I Got Dementia" in 2014 and it's circulated the globe many times over. Download your free copy here!