Though every person living with dementia and every caregiver’s individual challenges are unique, there are often themes that recur and overlap from family to family, from individual to individual.
I have interacted with countless individuals living with dementia at this point, and I talk about dementia every single day— yes, even on my days off! Sometimes, it strikes a chord with me how new and surprising simple, everyday interactions with someone living with dementia can be for a family member experiencing their loved one’s dementia symptoms for the first time.
A pitfall I often witness people running across when interacting with people living with dementia is comparing them to children. I always gently correct them: “People living with dementia are not children. They are adults who have just lost some of the gains they’ve made in life.”
Even though Embracing Their Reality comes easily to me now, I know that for family members and loved ones of folks living with dementia, this is often easier said than done.
In short, no, it’s not a bad thing that your wife “plays” with baby dolls. I would even venture to say it’s a great thing.
If your wife loved babies and children her whole life, before she had dementia, it makes sense that she would still enjoy spending time with babies she believes to be real. Though it is difficult to watch a loved one lose some of those gains they’ve made in life, try to look at her spending time with baby dolls as a view into that same interest/aspect of her personality she’s always had: a caretaker of little ones. The doll is real to her, and it’s bringing her comfort, joy, and a sense of purpose, and that’s what matters most.
If it is too difficult for you to witness your wife’s decline, maybe instead of visiting her for long stretches of time, you limit your time to an hour or two. Perhaps interacting with her in small doses will help you enjoy your time together a little more.
A couple final notes for the other readers out there:
- Men help raise babies, too, so don’t be surprised if you find your husband or dad taking a shine to a baby doll.
- When introducing a stuffed pet or baby doll, always ask, “What do you think about this?” Then, you can Embrace Their Reality, whether they believe it to be real or not.
